


Crush

by RedPandaPrincess



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-25 23:03:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13223088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedPandaPrincess/pseuds/RedPandaPrincess
Summary: Seven is exhibiting some strange symptoms





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This idea was rolling around in my mind, if anyone has any ideas for where it should go from here please comment!

**_ Stardate 51929, 21:00 _ **

“My cortical node is malfunctioning,” Seven said, sitting on the biobed. An expression of concern passed over the EMH's face as he retrieved a medical tricorder.

“What are your symptoms?” he asked as he began to scan her. 

“There is a...feedback loop,” she began hesitantly. “I find certain images, sounds, replaying constantly in my mind. While I work, while I consume nutrition, while I regenerate. My efficiency has decreased 15%.”

“What sort of sights and sounds?”

“Is that relevant?” she asked stiffly. 

“It could be,” he answered, still scanning.

“...The captain. Conversations with her replay in my mind. Velocity matches. Staff meetings. I think of her constantly throughout the day, speculate what she may be doing. I inquire the computer as to her location without meaning to – yesterday it was 36 times. Even if I know where she is, even if I have just seen her. During my regeneration cycles I have begun to hallucinate.”

“Hallucinate?” he said, sounding alarmed. 

“Conversations that never happened. Events that never occurred.”

“Between you and the captain?”

“Yes.”

“Those are dreams, Seven. Not hallucinations.”

“there must be a...structural anomaly or a fused relay or-”

“There's nothing wrong with your cortical node, Seven,” he said with a smile. 

“You are mistaken. There is no logical reason-”

“Love isn't prone to logic, Seven.”

“...What?”

“Love. It's clear you have a crush on Captain Janeway.”

“Crush,” Seven repeated. 

“A brief, intense infatuation for someone,” he provided. 

Seven straightened up. 

“You will treat me for this condition.”

“It's not a disease, Seven, there's no treatment,” he said, his amusement evident. 

“I do not wish to feel this way,” she said, feeling annoyed at his amusement. “It is...illogical. Inefficient. Weak-”

“Human?” he said with a sad smile. 

“I am Borg,” she said automatically, then exhaled slowly. “...What should I do?”

“Nothing. It will pass. Crushes usually do.”

“And if it does not?”

“It will,” he said reassuringly. “It's just puppy love. It's common. Totally normal, especially on someone who is in a position of power. You aren't the first person to have a crush on their captain and you won't be the last.”

“Who else?” Seven asked sharply, feeling a stab of an unfamiliar emotion. “Who else has a crush on her?”

“I didn't mean anyone specific,” he chuckled. 

“I fail to see the humor in this situation,” she said coldly. 

“You're jealous, Seven. It's...unusual for you.”

“I am not jealous,” she declared. “...How long until this condition ceases?'

“The jealousy or-”

“The _crush_ ,” Seven said, spitting the word like it was poison.

“Psychologists believe a crush lasts, on average, four months. After that time, the feelings begin to fade in their intensity.”

“And if they do not?”

The Doctor gave her a sad smile and put a hand on her shoulder. 

“I don't think telling her would be advisable. The captain likes men, Seven. She was engaged to be married to a man once.”

“Twice,” she muttered absently. 

“What did you say?”

“She was engaged to another man before Mark,” she said, then explained. “...I have read her entire service record, listened to all of her logs, officer's and personal.”

“You've really got it bad, don't you?” he said sympathetically. “But you shouldn't read people's personal logs, Seven, It's rude, it's an invasion of privacy, it-”

But Seven had stopped listening. Her mind was drifting, as it so often did, to Kathryn Janeway. Her smile. The 36 freckles across her face. The way her lips moved when she said her name. 

_ Four months,  _ she thought to herself. _ 120 days...minus the 10 days I have already been exhibiting symptoms. 110 days. I can make it through 110 days. I am Borg.  _

“Thank you, Doctor,” Seven said, getting up from the biobed. “I trust this will remain between us?”

“Of course, Seven. Doctor-patient confidentiality,” he promised. 


	2. Chapter 2

**_ Stardate 52039.2, 06:00 _ **

“Regeneration Cycle Complete.”

Seven stepped out of her alcove. It took only a nanosecond for her to orient herself, identifying the stardate and time from her internal chronometer. It had been 120 days. Four months. If the Doctor was correct, her feelings should have diminished in intensity. 

She pulled up an image of Captain Kathryn Janeway in her mind. One of her favorite memories – Janeway with her auburn hair falling across her face, a bead of sweat slicing its way down her sternocleidomastoid, breathing hard after an intense game of Velocity. Seven felt a by now all-too-familiar wave of heat flood her body. 

Seven frowned slightly. There was no quantifiable way to measure the intensity of the feeling. Was it less acute than what she had felt yesterday when considering the same image? Or the 1,032 _other_ times she had visualized the image since seeing it in person 61 days ago?

Seven scowled. Desire, attraction, arousal...these were immeasurable sensations. Human feelings. It was almost enough to make her miss being a drone. 

Almost. 

Not really. 

Because as frustrating as these feelings were for her...she found herself looking forward to seeing Janeway again. 

_ In one hour , _ she thought with some enthusiasm. _ There is a staff meeting at 07:00 and I will get to see her then.  _

Seven was the first to arrive at the staff meeting, besides the captain. When she saw Janeway sitting there, caught the faint scent of her perfume, Seven felt her palms grow damp. 

“Good morning, Seven,” Janeway said, giving her a smile. Seven felt her heart thud in her chest. 

_ A quantifiable reaction,  _ she realized with some relief.  _ A physical increase in my heart rate.  _

“Captain,” Seven said, inclining her head slightly as she took her seat at the conference table. 

“How are you, Seven?”

“I am functioning within normal parameters, Captain.”

_ Normal,  _ she thought to herself. _ This is normal now. My symptoms have not subsided or decreased in intensity so it is likely my feelings – this condition – is permanent. The decrease in my efficiency is permanent.  _

She glanced back at the captain briefly. Janeway sipped from her mug of coffee and emit a content sigh after she swallowed. 

_ Permanent and completely worth it.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys i'm alone on New Year's Eve...but really i'm spending it with the captain and Seven, so it's all good.
> 
> Happy celebration of the successful completion of the Earth's rotation around the sun.


	3. Chapter 3

**_ Stardate 52083.4; 23:16 _ **

Seven stood at the console in Astrometrics, charting stars contentedly. They had finally made it through what the crew called The Void. A region of space devoid of star systems, planets. It had taken its toll on crew morale in everyone but Seven. What _had_ taken its toll on her was the captain. 

Janeway had locked herself in her quarters during their journey through The Void and had refused to see anyone but Chakotay. She ignored Seven's hails, her messages. Seven did not see her for over a month,. 

Janeway's absence had been...painful. A sharp pain, like a knife in her chest. Seven had stolen a medical tricorder and scanned herself to try to find a physical source of the pain. She was reluctant to ask the Doctor for help again. She had not found a physical source of the pain. She had not been surprised. 

The longer she went without seeing the captain, the worse her symptoms got. She had been irritable, restless...and unlike the rest of the crews' attitudes, it had nothing to do with the absence of stars. 

But Janeway had finally returned to duty when the ship had been attacked by aliens. Seven had been positively elated to see her captain on the Bridge, but she'd hidden it well. 

With Janeway back in command, the ship had made it through the Void. Seven had spent the last 62 hours charting star systems. She had tried to regenerate 4 different times but each time her alcove had rejected her. She was running a Level 1 diagnostic on the alcove but in the meantime she was content to work. 

The doors to the lab opened behind her and the scent of Janeway's perfume engulfed her. Seven's fingers paused over her workstation as a wave of heat rolled through her abdomen. 

“I thought you'd be regenerating. It's late,” the captain said and Seven closed her eyes briefly, pleased just to hear her voice. 

“I wished to work,” Seven said as Kathryn came to stand beside her. 

“I understand. Now that we're out of that – that place everyone is a lot more eager to work...but I thought I'd see if you'd like to head to the holodeck for a game of Velocity?”

“There is work to be done,” Seven said, turning back to her console. 

She wanted to say yes, of course she did. She had not spent off duty time with her captain in 48 days. ...But at the same time she was angry. Irrationally so. The captain had ignored her for 41 days. 

“Seven,” Janeway said gently, placing a hand on her arm. Her touch burned like fire through the fabric of her biosuit. Seven's mouth felt suddenly dry and she swallowed. 

“I know that I've neglected you in the last few months, Seven. I want to apologize to you. I was having a...difficult time.”

“You do not need to apologize, Captain,” Seven said quietly, turning to face her again. 

“I want to make it up to you, Seven. Starting with a game of Velocity?”

“...Acceptable,” Seven agreed. 

Not long into their match, Seven realized she was not operating at peak efficiency. Far from it. She had gone too long without regenerating. Her movements were slow, her visual acuity was flawed. 

“You've gotten sloppy, Seven,” Janeway teased as Seven missed the disc again. 

Seven redoubled her efforts. When she slammed into the wall, dropping her phaser, it hurt more than it should have. When she didn't immediately get back up the captain rushed to her side. 

“Computer, freeze game! Seven, are you alright?” she asked, dropping to her knees beside her. 

“Fine,” she said, groaning slightly as she sat up. “I am fine.”

“Your shoulder,” she said, touching her shoulder briefly. All of a sudden it didn't hurt at all. “You hit the wall pretty hard.”

“The damage is insignificant. My nanoprobes will repair it,” she said, getting unsteadily to her feet. 

“I've never seen you take a fall like that, Seven, are you sure you're okay?” Kathryn asked, looking up at her. There was a piercing look in her gray eyes. Seven gazed down at her uncertainly. The look in her eyes, Seven knew she couldn't lie to her. 

“...I have been having trouble regenerating,” she admitted. 

Kathryn's eyes widened slightly. 

“Seven,” she scolded. “why didn't you tell me?”

Seven said nothing. 

“Come on,” Janeway said, taking her by the arm. “Let's get you to Sick Bay.”

The captain left her hand on Seven's arm as they stepped onto the turbolift. Seven could feel her heart beating rapidly in her chest. 

_ If she accompanies me to Sick Bay, the Doctor will know,  _ she thought to herself _.  He will connect the symptoms.  _

“I do not need an escort, Captain,” Seven said, her voice coming out a little colder than she intended. She did not miss the hurt look that crossed briefly over Janeway's face and Seven immediately felt guilty. 

“I want to make sure you're okay,” she said, squeezing her arm briefly before letting her hand drop from her arm. 

A part of her wanted to apologize. Instead she said nothing and when the lift stopped she followed the captain into Sick Bay. 

The EMH activated automatically when they entered. 

“Please state the nature – Seven. Captain. Midnight game of Velocity?”

“Seven fell on the holodeck,” the captain said. 

“I am undamaged,” Seven insisted.

“And she said she's had trouble regenerating,” she provided. 

“Hop up on the biobed, Seven, and let's see what's going on,” the Doctor said, retrieving a tricorder.

Reluctantly Seven sat and allowed the Doctor to scan her. Janeway hovered nearby, a look of concern on her delicate features. 

“Elevated blood pressure, heart rate 132...Elevated levels of cortisol, dopamine, and -hmm.”

“Will she be alright, Doctor?” Janeway asked. “Do you have any idea what's causing it?”

The Doctor caught Seven's eye briefly before answering. 

“It can be indicative of stress,” he said. “Not surprising, considering what we've all been through.”

“You should go rest, Captain,” Seven said. “It's late.”

Kathryn quirked her eyebrow at her. 

“If you want me to leave, Seven, just say so. You have as much right to privacy as anyone else on board,” she said. 

Seven hesitated. 

“You should go rest, Captain,” she repeated. Janeway nodded. 

“Let me know if there's anything I can do. Goodnight Seven,” she said, touching her arm briefly. “Doctor.”

The Doctor waited until the doors closed behind her before speaking. 

“So,” he said. “Your crush-”

“I do not have a crush,” she said stiffly. 

“You told me it had passed. Clearly that's not the case. Your heart rate increased when she touched you. You're experiencing elevated levels of dopamine, cortisol, and phenylethylamine.”

“Phenylethylamine?”

“A hormone released by the brain. It's also known as the 'love drug',” he said with a grin.

Seven gave him a cool look and stood. 

“I am assuming there is no treatment, so if you will excuse me-”

“I can treat the side effects. The elevated cortisol levels are probably what's preventing you from regenerating. I can give you a neuromodulatory agent. That will probably help.”

Seven sat back down on the biobed while the Doctor went to prepare a hypospray. 


	4. Chapter 4

_** Stardate 52084; 00:32 ** _

When Seven left Sick Bay half an hour later, she hesitated in the turbolift. She knew she should go to the Cargo Bay and attempt to regenerate, but her altercation with the captain was bothering her. 

“Computer, what is the location of Captain Janeway?” she asked. 

“Captain Janeway is in her quarters,” the computer chimed. 

“Is she awake?”

“Affirmative.”

“Deck 3,” Seven said and the lift began to move. 

She hesitated again outside the door to the captain's quarters. 

_ Why am I here? What am I going to say to her?  _ She pondered _. I should...apologize for being short with her. Yes. _

She pressed the door chime before she could back down. 

“Come in,” the captain's voice called. 

Seven entered the room purposefully but when she saw the captain sitting in her chair she stopped short. Kathryn had changed out of her Velocity outfit and was wearing a pink satin nightgown. The thin straps of the gown revealed more of her shoulders and chest than Seven had seen before. Her cortical node registered 103 more freckles on this newly revealed expanse of skin. 

“Seven? Are you alright?” Kathryn asked, closing the book she had been reading.

“Captain?”

“You're staring, Seven.”

Seven felt blood rush to her face, then felt nanoprobes rush to correct the rate of capillary refill.

“Your gown,” Seven said, quickly searching for something to say. “It is...pretty.”

Kathryn looked surprised, then she smiled, a faint blush in her cheeks. 

“Thank you, Seven. It's my favorite,” she said, standing up. “Would you like some tea? Have a seat.”

“Acceptable,” Seven said, moving to sit on the couch. Her brain seemed to be buzzing, she couldn't think clearly, but it wasn't unpleasant.

“Chamomile?” Janeway asked, walking over to the replicator.

“Acceptable,” Seven said again.

“One chamomile tea, one coffee, black,” Kathryn ordered. 

The mugs appeared, Janeway got them and carried them over to the couch. She sat next to Seven, 4.3 inches away. Seven could feel the heat coming from her body as she accepted the mug of tea. 

“So what did the Doctor say – I mean, I don't want to pry, I'm sorry. I just – are you okay?”

“I am fine, Captain,” Seven assured. 

“I'm glad,” Kathryn said softly, then took a sip of coffee. “You can call me Kathryn, Seven. We're off duty and we're friends...aren't we?”

“Yes, Captain – Kathryn,” she corrected, feeling her heart flip as she said her name. “We are friends.”

“Good.”

They sipped their beverages in silence a moment. 

“I wished to apologize for speaking sharply towards you earlier,” Seven said. 

“You don't need to apologize, Seven. I should respect your right to privacy. I just, I get concerned – especially about you,” she said, a faint blush staining her cheeks again. “I mean, I'm responsible for you – well I'm responsible for all of the crew, of course, but you're...”

Kathryn took a long drink from her coffee mug. 

“Your Pet Borg?” Seven quipped. 

“What did you say?” she asked, lowering the mug. 

“Some of the crew – I have overheard them refer to me as your 'pet Borg'.”

“That's awful, Seven! That's offensive.”

“Is it?”

“Yes! You should tell me who said that, I'll reprimand them.”

“Unnecessary, Kathryn,” Seven assured. “I did not find it offensive.”

“Seven,” Kathryn said, offering her a smile. Awkwardly, unused to the action, Seven smiled back. 

Kathryn leaned back against the couch, crossing her legs, sipping her coffee. Seven found her small bare feet fascinating, as well as the smooth skin of her calves as the nightgown rode up slightly. After a while, Kathryn spoke again.

“I know Chakotay told the senior staff some of what I've been dealing with the last few months.”

“You were depressed...dwelling on the past. Questioning your actions.”

“Doubting myself.”

“Chakotay told us... You tried to make us leave you in the Void. Alone.”

“It seemed like the only good option at the time...but I'm glad you all disobeyed me.”

“I would have stayed with you,” Seven said without thinking. 

Kathryn looked at her in surprise. Seven met her gaze evenly. 

“You're sweet, Seven, but Voyager needs you more than I do.”

“I need you more than I need Voyager,” she said quietly. Kathryn's gray eyes softened and Seven couldn't help but look away, worried she'd revealed too much. “And Voyager needs its captain more than anything.”

“Chakotay did okay in my absence.”

“The crew did not,” she said, then a little more cautiously. “ _I d_id not.”

This time it was Kathryn who looked away. Seven sipped the last of her tea, which was becoming cold. After she swallowed the last of the tea, she let out a reflexive yawn, which startled her. 

“You yawned,” Kathryn provided, chuckling.

“I do not yawn.”

“You must be tired. It is late, you should go regenerate.”

“Yes, Kathryn. You should rest as well,” Seven said, getting to her feet. 

“You're not wrong. Goodnight, Seven. Sweet dreams.”

“Goodnight, Kathryn. Thank you for the tea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is totally random but i'm rewatching the old show ER and I once read a crossover fanfic of Voyager/ER that had Seven and Janeway going back in time somehow and Seven ends up in Chicago with Kerry Weaver...does anyone know what im talking about and have a link? Lol


	5. Chapter 5

_** Stardate 52130; 02:00 ** _

_** (After the episode Drone) ** _

Seven was working at her console in Astrometrics, trying not to think about the last few days. Trying not to think about the Borg. Trying not to think about One. Trying not to think about anything at all. 

She didn't notice that she had been staring at the same star cluster on the screen for 15 minutes. She didn't even notice when the doors opened and the captain walked in. 

“Seven, are you okay?” Kathryn asked, putting a hand on Seven's back. 

She heard the question but didn't answer. She was only vaguely aware of the captain's hand on her back. She was more acutely aware of the pain she felt in her chest. 

“Seven, you're crying,” she said softly. 

“You are mistaken,” she said automatically. “I do not cry. I am Borg”

Kathryn reached up and touched her cheek and Seven felt the warmth and softness of her skin. She caught the scent of the sweet perfume of her captain. Her heart rate increased but it only intensified the ache in her chest. 

“The Doctor told me about One. Do you want to talk about it?” Kathryn asked. 

Seven shook her head no, still staring at the view screen. The captain's fingers were still on her face, gently caressing her cheek. 

“I went to your Cargo Bay first, I figured you'd be regenerating.”

Seven shook her head again. This time she felt the wetness slide from her eyes, felt Kathryn wipe it away. 

“Come have some tea with me, Seven, in my quarters.”

Again, Seven shook her head but this time Kathryn flattened her palm against Seven's cheek, directing her face so that she was forced to look at her. Her gray eyes were soft, full of concern. 

“Tea, Seven. That's an order,” Kathryn said with a light smile. Seven smiled back reflexively, but only briefly. She nodded, logged off her workstation, and followed Kathryn out of the lab. 

In the turbolift, Kathryn put a hand on her back again, stroking it lightly in a reassuring manner. Seven took some comfort in the action but her chest ached painfully. 

_ My heart,  _ she thought _.  I always thought it foolish to ascribe emotions to the cardiac muscle...now that I am experiencing emotional distress myself, it does not seem so foolish.  _

She tried to distract herself from the emotional pain by drawing on another memory. The last time she'd had tea with the captain in her quarters late at night, 46 days ago. The memory of Kathryn in the pink nightgown – a memory she had accessed 892 times in the last 46 days – made her feel warm. She wondered if the captain would change into her nightgown. She was wearing her uniform now. Seven frowned slightly. Her internal chronometer told her it was 02:16. The captain had been off duty several hours. 

“You should be sleeping, Captain. It is late,” Seven said, stopping abruptly as they stepped off the turbolift. 

“It's alright, Seven. I'm not tired. Come on in,” she said, keying entrance to her quarters. 

“You require rest,” she said stubbornly, but followed her anyway. 

“So do you,” Kathryn said wryly, then softened her tone. “My friend is upset. That takes precedence. Computer, two cups of chamomile tea. Hot.”

Seven went and sat on the couch without being asked. Her face still felt warm where Kathryn had touched her. She put her hand to her face absently, surprised to find the wetness there. 

“I'm sorry about One, Seven,” Kathryn said, sitting beside her on the couch, 2.9 inches away. “He was...unique. Special.”

“He was,” Seven agreed, feeling a lump in her throat. She drank deeply from the mug of tea, trying to swallow the lump. It did not work. 

“The Doctor...could have saved him,” Seven said, feeling like the lump was choking her. “But...he...”

“The Doctor told me. He sacrificed himself so the Borg would not pursue us,” Kathryn said softly. “It was a very noble action.”

“Irrelevant,” Seven said, feeling a rush of anger. “Unnecessary. We could have protected him. The Doctor could have...could have removed his implants, we could have dampened his bio signature, or...”

“Maybe,” Kathryn said softly. 

“It is irrelevant. It is irrational to dwell on. He is gone, it is pointless to speculate,” she said angrily, clutching the mug so hard with her Borg hand that it shattered. Hot tea and shards of ceramic splashed the front of her biosuit and Seven stood in surprise. 

“Hang on,” Kathryn said, hurrying into the other room. She appeared a moment later with a towel and began to dab at the front of Seven's biosuit. Seven was temporarily stunned, her mouth slightly open, as Kathryn dabbed her breasts with the towel, then her abdomen, then knelt before her to dry her thighs. 

“I...I am sorry, Kathryn,” she said once she'd regained some of her composure. 

“No, it's alright, these sorts of things happen. Your biosuit seems to be water repellent,” she said, standing. 

“The fabric is hydrophobic,” Seven said and knelt to pick up the shards from the carpet. She glanced up at the captain and froze briefly as a rush of heat went through her. Something about being on her knees before the captain. 

Kathryn met her gaze briefly before squatting to help her. 

“Unnecessary, Captain. You do not have to clean up my mess,” Seven insisted. 

“Kathryn, Seven. We're off duty,” she reminded her, still picking up some of the larger shards. 

“You are still in uniform,” she pointed out. 

“Fair enough,” Kathryn chuckled, standing up. She went and dumped the shards in the recycler, then unzipped her command tunic and shed it, along with her outer shirt, tossing them both over the back of the chair. She was left in just her gray tank top and pants. 

Seven had become transfixed, watching the captain undress, but quickly looked back to her task as Kathryn turned around. 

“Would you like another tea?”

“Acceptable,” Seven said, picking up the last of the ceramic. She moved to put the shards in the recycler, brushing lightly against Kathryn as she moved back to the couch. 

“You did really well with One. He was truly exceptional,” Kathryn said once they were settled back on the couch. “I want you to know I'm proud of how well you helped him adapt.”

“He was truly exceptional,” Seven said softly. “...I do not wish to talk about him anymore. Or think about it anymore. It is...”

“Difficult?” Kathryn guessed.

“Painful,” Seven admitted, placing a hand on her chest. “Here.”

She felt the lump return to her throat and her eyes felt hot. She didn't realize she was crying until Kathryn reached out to wipe them away. The movement moved their bodies closer so that Kathryn's thigh pressed against hers. Seven felt a rush of heat and arousal. The conflicting emotions made her feel confused, overwhelmed. The tears began to flow harder and Kathryn pulled her into an embrace. 

“It's alright, Seven,” Kathryn said soothingly, stroking her hair. “Just let it out...”

For a while, Seven just wept, pressing her face into Kathryn's shoulder. The warmth of the smaller woman's body, the scent of her skin, was soothing... After several minutes, she pulled back slightly. 

“I'm making you wet, Kathryn.”

“Beg pardon?” Kathryn asked, releasing her immediately. 

“Your shoulder and tank top,” Seven said, brushing her tears from Kathryn's bare skin with her Borg hand. A tremor went through the auburn-haired woman, which Seven interpreted as fatigue. 

“You should go to bed, Kathryn, and I will go and regenerate. I feel...better.”

And she did, somewhat. 

“Are you sure?” Kathryn murmured, reaching up to brush the last trace of tears from Seven's face.

“I no longer feel sad or angry...but drained. I think, if I regenerate, I will feel better.”

“You probably will. Let me walk you back to your Cargo Bay,” Kathryn said, standing up and pulling on her command tunic. “I want to make sure you fall asleep alright.”

“I do not sleep,” Seven reminded her. “I regenerate.”

“You know what I mean,” she laughed. “I just want to walk with you.”

“Acceptable.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey yall i been feelin terrible again today. Probably goin to the ER tomorrow for some antibiotics after my psych appt. It's next door to the hospital. But i couldnt go to bed without getting a new chapter up for yall :)
> 
> PS Thank you! To everyone who knew exactly what Voyager/ER crossover fic I was talking about and sent me links. I spent five hours last night reading the whole thing again and loved it even more than the first time i think. Every interaction between Kerry and Seven had me giggling.  
> PPS I never knew Kerry Weaver is canon gay! I never got that far in the series (my mom only has 6 seasons on dvd) but i read online earlier Weaver actually is gay! I'm absolutely delighted and now I need them to put ER on Netflix or something because i neeeeed to see more!


	6. Chapter 6

_** Stardate 52619.2; 21:38 ** _

_** (After the Dark Frontier episodes) ** _

Seven stood in her alcove, eyes closed. Her body tingled with the electric connection to the alcove but also from the whispered words of Kathryn Janeway still ringing in her ears - “Sweet dreams.”

Six hours passed and Seven regenerated peacefully. She felt even more relaxed than usual. Even in her state of regeneration, just knowing she was back on Voyager, back _home_.

The doors to the Cargo Bay open and shut. Seven did not stir but she was aware. She was always aware. The weight of the footfalls and the scent of perfume – honeysuckle, she'd been told when she'd asked one evening – told her it was her captain. 

Seven was not surprised. Kathryn often visited her while she regenerated. She rarely spoke, just watched her. Sometimes she sat on the dais for hours, watching her. 

Seven didn't let Kathryn know she was aware of her nocturnal visits. She was was afraid they would cease if she did. And she found them...comforting. 

She let her ears track the captain's movements. She was pacing, back and forth before the alcove, her breathing quick and short. 

_ She is agitated, _Seven realized from her respiration and the quick, weighted footfalls. 

“Crazy Borg woman,” Kathryn growled, her low voice sending a rush of heat through Seven. “Idiot.”

_She is talking about me,_ Seven realized, affronted. 

“ _Regeneration Cycle Incomplete_ ,” the computer chimed. 

“Seven!” Kathryn declared, cheeks flushing as the Borg stepped out of her alcove. “You're supposed to be regenerating.”

“And you are not?” Seven countered cheekily. “You just called me an 'idiot'. I do not agree with your assessment.”

“I didn't mean that, Seven, I just...I'm angry. Frustrated. I haven't slept in 3 days. I...I should go.”

“Kathryn,” Seven said and she stopped. “Do not leave. ...I do not have a couch, or tea, but would you sit with me?”

Seven sat on the dais containing the alcove and looked up at Kathryn expectantly. The captain shook her head slightly but sat next to her, 8.3 inches away. 

“You are angry with me,” Seven said. “You think I am an idiot. Explain.”

“Angry...Yes I'm angry at you. Angry at me. I should never have taken you on that away mission. I _knew_ something was wrong. You – you should have told someone as soon as the Queen contacted you! You should've _told_ me, come to me, told me what was going on! After all we've been through...”

Frustrated, Kathryn stood and began to pace again. Seven remained calm. 

“If I had, Voyager would have been assimilated,” she said coolly.

“You don't know that! We've fought off the Borg before. We could have handled it,” she growled. 

“I was not prepared to risk losing you to the Borg,” Seven said quietly. “I took a calculated risk and determined-”

“It was not your decision to make! You are a member of _my_ crew, you're under _my_ command, you don't just – just... _dammit_ , Seven, leaving you on that sphere was the hardest thing I've ever had to do!”

Kathryn looked surprised by her won admission. She quickly looked down at the deck, shoulders slumped. Seven stood hesitantly. 

“When you left – when I made you leave me – it was the...most terrifying thing I had ever experienced,” she admitted softly. “But I knew that Voyager would be safe...that _you_ would be safe.”

Seven stood 4.3 inches away, until Kathryn looked up. Her gray eyes were hard to read. She did not look angry, she looked...sad?

“Kathryn,” she repeated. “When I heard your voice over my cranial implant...”

Her voice broke slightly, remembering the relief, the fear she'd felt when she'd known Kathryn was coming for her. Kathryn moved closer to her. 

“Seven, I understand why you did what you did...but if you ever pull that kind of self-sacrificing crap again I'll throw you in the brig!”

“When One did it, you called the action of sacrificing oneself for the crew to be noble,” Seven recalled.

“Dammit, Seven, I can live without One, I can't-”

She stopped short and stepped away. Kathryn had not finished her sentence but Seven could extrapolate from incomplete data. Her heart began to throb painfully fast in her chest and she found herself unable to speak. 

“Finish your regeneration cycle, Seven,” Kathryn said, straightening her spine and turning away from her. “I'm sorry for waking you. I'm going to bed.”

Seven wanted to stop her but she didn't know what to say. 

_ What if I am incorrect?  _ She thought as Kathryn disappeared _.  What if I am not...I do not know what to say to her. I need more time to research relationships.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well finally made it to hospital and got some antibiotics! Took forever at the er but good news i got to read my Star Trek Voyager novel "Section 31" and also I got an idea for a new fanfic AND i know how im gonna finish this one. :) Unfortunately this is all i can type up tonight, i am beat. Hope you guys enjoy the update.


	7. Chapter 7

_** Stardate 52652; 20:00 ** _

_** (After the episode Someone to Remember Me) ** _

“Janeway to Seven of Nine.”

Seven paused her work on her console in Cargo Bay 2.

“Seven here, Captain. I did not realize you had returned.”

“Yes I got back a few hours ago. Would you come to my quarters please?”

“For what purpose, Captain?”

“Tea, Seven.”

Seven smiled briefly. Tea meant Kathryn wanted to talk to her. Given the events of the last few days, she was not surprised.

“Yes Kathryn. I'm on my way.”

When Seven entered the captain's quarters she found Kathryn sitting on the couch, sipping coffee. She wearing her pink nightgown, her hair was slightly damp.

“Have a seat, Seven. God I've missed coffee,” Kathryn said, taking another deep drink and letting out the breathy sigh that made Seven's stomach flutter.

“And baths?” Seven said, sitting down next to her. There was a mug of tea waiting for her on the coffee table. Kathryn glanced at her and smiled.

“You have no idea. So,” she sad, leaning back against the couch with her coffee. “I heard about your date. Chapman?”

Seven inclined her head, sipping her tea.

“I didn't know you were interested in him,” Kathryn said.

“I am not,” Seven stated.

“No?” she asked, quirking her eyebrow.

“You said I should try dating. The Doctor agreed. He gave me several social lessons and supplied me with a list of potential candidates. I devised a method for deducing the most likely compatible match.”

“Leave it to you to treat dating as a science experiment, Seven,” Kathryn chuckled, shaking her head. “I'm sorry, Seven. I didn't mean for you to rush into things while I was away.”

“I thought my dating attempt would please you.”

_ I thought, if I had experience, perhaps...but I failed... _

“I'm proud of you for trying, Seven,” Kathryn said, putting a hand on her knee. “I just wish I could've been here, given you advice... Maybe during your next date-”

“Irrelevant. I do not plan to attempt dating again,” Seven said, looking away.

“Hey,” Kathryn said, giving her leg a squeeze. “Don't let one bad date ruin things. You and Chapman, that's not a good match. He's too nervous around women, especially someone as you beautiful as you. You need someone confident, someone who can match you...let's call it tenacity.” She chuckled briefly and sipped her coffee. “You're very strong-willed. My Daddy would call it hard-headed.”

“My cranium is sufficiently dense,” Seven said, even though she knew exactly what Kathryn meant and they both knew it. Kathryn chuckled again. With her human hand, Seven rapped lightly on Kathryn's head.

“You are hard-headed as well, Kathryn,” she quipped.

Kathryn laughed openly and Seven felt a pleasant flush spread through her and she smiled.

“Has anyone ever told you, you have a gorgeous smile, Seven?” Kathryn asked warmly.

“No one else has ever given me cause to smile,” Seven confessed, meeting Kathryn's eyes shyly.

Kathryn smiled wistfully, holding her gaze a moment before looking away.

“Not even Chapman?” Kathryn teased lightly. 

“Definitely not,” she said with a grimace. Kathryn laughed and her thigh pressed against Seven's.

“So, no one else met your scientific criteria for dating?” she asked, sipping her coffee. Her leg was still touching Seven's and the former drone found it difficult to concentrate.

“Ensign Bronowski,” she answered absently.

“ _Doug_ Bronowski?” Kathryn said with a bark of laughter.

“There is only one Ensign Bronowski aboard Voyager.”

“What could you possibly have in common with Bronowski?” Kathryn probed. “I mean sure he's a good worker, but he works in the Airponics Bay.”

“His work record is flawless, he is efficient. We share an interest in astronomy and music. However, Ensign Kim said Ensign Bronowski does not play his accordion skillfully and has no sense of humor. I know some people think I do not have a sense of humor, however-”

“That's certainly not true,” Kathryn asserted. “I think you're funny. Your humor is a little unconventional maybe, but you make me laugh.”

“That pleases me.”

“I had no idea you had an interest in music, Seven.”

“I find it has intriguing mathematical qualities. Also my vocal subprocessor enables me to carry a tune flawlessly.”

“You sing?” Kathryn said, her gray eyes lighting up.

“Yes.”

“Oh,” she said fondly. “I bet you do have a wonderful voice. I wish – I mean, I can't ask you to, but...”

“You wish to hear me sing?” Seven concluded, suddenly feeling uncharacteristically shy.

“Only if you want to,” Kathryn said quickly. “I won't ask you to.”

“I only know one song,” Seven admitted. “...It will take time to find an appropriate song. Then I will sing for you.”

“I'd really love that, Seven,” Kathryn said earnestly.

Seven smiled and suddenly she couldn't wait to get back to her Cargo Bay later to begin researching music.


	8. Chapter 8

_** Stardate 52654; 22:00 ** _

_** (Kathryn's POV) ** _

Kathryn was in the bathtub, soaking in a luxurious bubble bath. She had a Gothic romance novel open in one hand and was reading enchantedly, periodically sipping from a glass of red wine she had sitting on the edge of the tub. It was her second glass of the evening. 

She was indulging herself. They were finally away from the Kadi home world. They'd successfully acquired enough dilithium to power the ship for several months. Enough that Kathryn could indulge herself. 

“Seven of Nine to Captain Janeway,” came the blonde's voice over her combadge. Kathryn closed her book and exhaled softly. 

_ Seven I love you but if you're hailing me for something trivial... _

“Janeway here,” Kathryn said, setting her book aside and picking up the combadge from beside her wine glass. 

“Kathryn would you meet me in holodeck 2 if you are not otherwise occupied?”

_ Kathryn not Captain,  _ she thought silently. _ Personal, not professional.  _

She loved spending time with Seven but she was reluctant to leave her haven of bubbles. 

“It's a little late for Velocity, Seven,” she said, picking up the wine glass with her other hand and taking a sip. 

“It is not Velocity, Kathryn, but you need not wear your command uniform if you prefer to be more comfortable. I have a surprise for you.”

Kathryn felt a tingle between her legs as her imagination bounded away from her with what sort of surprise Seven could have for her. 

_Ridiculous_ , she admonished herself. 

“Kathryn?”

“Sorry Seven. Yes, I'll be there in half an hour. Is that alright?”

“Acceptable. Seven out.”

Kathryn stretched and set the wine glass and combadge back on the side of the tub. She slid down under the water for a moment, then sat back up. She pulled the plug to drain the tub and stood up. She grabbed a towel and dried off, wrapping it around herself. She grabbed another towel and toweled her hair off. She got her honeysuckle lotion from the counter. She smiled and recalled a few weeks ago when Seven asked her what scent she wore and said that she found it pleasant. 

She lotioned up then went into her bedroom to find something to wear. She really didn't want to put her uniform back on. Instead she put on a pair of black slacks and an olive green v-neck shirt. She thought about applying makeup then mentally slapped herself. 

_ It's late and it's not like Seven will notice,  _ she thought, rolling her eyes _.  Well she might notice but she wouldn't care. She'd think it irrelevant.  _

Kathryn smiled sadly. She'd had a crush on the beautiful Borg since...when? If she was honest with herself she'd been drawn to Seven in some way since she'd first set eyes on her on that Borg cube two years ago. She didn't know when the interest had turned into attraction...or attraction into infatuation. 

“Ah Katie,” she muttered aloud to herself. “You're a straight up nut case. A loon. Crackpot old woman.”

She stepped back into the bathroom and grabbed the glass of wine and combadge from the side of the tub. She pinned her combadge to her t-shirt and downed the rest of the wine. It had grown warm but it was still good, for synthehol. 

Kathryn arrived outside the holodeck a short while later. She checked the readout but didn't recognize the name of the program, it was just a string of numbers. She smiled fondly. The numbers probably had some significance to the lovely Borg, but it was gibberish to her. 

The readout indicated Seven was inside the holodeck, so Kathryn went in. The room she stepped into was dark and it took her eyes a minute to adjust. When they did she found herself in a dome-shaped room with stars all around. 

“A planetarium,” she exhaled wondrously. 

These weren't Alpha Quadrant stars – that would be too painful – so she didn't recognize them. Nevertheless it was beautiful. 

She walked down several steps past rows of empty seats. She didn't see Seven anywhere. There was a podium in the center of the room, elevated. 

_Wonder is she's going to be giving me a lecture_ , she thought with some amusement, sitting down. As soon as she sat down, a light came up on the podium and Seven appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. She wore a light blue satin dress with a cinched waist, low cut which showed off an expanse of creamy pale skin. The sight made Kathryn feel breathless but when Seven opened her mouth and began to sing, she forgot how to breathe. 

_ “For all those times you stood by me_  
_For all the truth that you made me see_  
_For all the joy you brought to my life_  
_For all the wrong that you made right_  
_For every dream you made come true_  
_For all the love I found in you_  
_I'll be forever thankful baby_  
_You're the one who held me up_  
_Never let me fall_  
_You're the one who saw me through through it all_  
  
_You were my strength when I was weak_  
_You were my voice when I couldn't speak_  
_You were my eyes when I couldn't see_  
_You saw the best there was in me_  
_Lifted me up when I couldn't reach_  
_You gave me faith 'cause you believed_  
_I'm everything I am_  
_Because you loved me_  
  
_You gave me wings and made me fly_  
_You touched my hand, I could touch the sky_  
_I lost my faith, you gave it back to me_  
_You said no star was out of reach_  
_You stood by me and I stood tall_  
_I had your love, I had it all_  
_I'm grateful for each day you gave me_  
_Maybe I don't know that much_  
_But I know this much is true_  
_I was blessed because I was loved by you_  
  
_You were my strength when I was weak_  
_You were my voice when I couldn't speak_  
_You were my eyes when I couldn't see_  
_You saw the best there was in me_  
_Lifted me up when I couldn't reach_  
_You gave me faith 'cause you believed_  
_I'm everything I am_  
_Because you loved me_  
  
_You were always there for me_  
_The tender wind that carried me_  
_A light in the dark shining your love into my life_  
_You've been my inspiration_  
_Through the lies you were the truth_  
_My world is a better place because of you_  
  
_You were my strength when I was weak_  
_You were my voice when I couldn't speak_  
_You were my eyes when I couldn't see_  
_You saw the best there was in me_  
_Lifted me up when I couldn't reach_  
_You gave me faith 'cause you believed_  
_I'm everything I am_  
_Because you loved me_  
  
_You were my strength when I was weak_  
_You were my voice when I couldn't speak_  
_You were my eyes when I couldn't see_  
_You saw the best there was in me_  
_Lifted me up when I couldn't reach_  
_You gave me faith 'cause you believed_  
_I'm everything I am_  
_Because you loved me_  
  
_I'm everything I am_  
_Because you loved me..."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey yall hope everyone is still enjoying! :)
> 
> My ear feels better but now I have bronchitis and a fever! Have my brother to thank for that. Fever of 101 but at least i already have antibiotics! 
> 
> I have a bit more typed up but not enough for a full chapter so im gonna hang onto it til tomorrow...unless yall ask nicely? Lol.


	9. Chapter 9

_** Stardate 52654; 22:52 ** _

“ _I'm everything I am, because you loved me_ ,” Seven concluded. 

The lights went down on the podium as she had programmed them to do. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest as she gazed down at Kathryn, who did not appear to be breathing. Her nanoprobes tried to correct what they viewed as a malfunction in her cardiac system. Seven's legs felt shaky as she stepped down from the podium. Kathryn stood as she approached and Seven could see the tears in her eyes. When she got close enough her Borg-enhanced hearing caught the sound of Kathryn's heartbeat. Her breath caught in her throat when she realized it beat in time with her own. 

“Kathryn?” she said softly because she did not appear to be breathing. 

“Seven,” Kathryn said, inhaling sharply. “That was magnificent...thrilling. I've got goosebumps. You...” She swallowed and took another breath before continuing. “You chose that song...for me?”

Seven met her gaze and held it for 20 seconds.

“That is correct, Kathryn,” she said softly. “By a Canadian artist from 20th century Earth named Celine Dion. It was released-”

Seven fell silent as Kathryn reached up and touched her cheek. She brushed the line of her ocular implant with her thumb. Seven felt a tremor run through her body...then Kathryn's fingers slid up into her hair and she angled Seven's head down for a kiss. 

An almost electric tingle spread from the point of contact to all of Seven's extremities. At first she thought she might be malfunctioning but then Kathryn's lips moved against hers and she didn't care if it was a malfunction. Kathryn's lips parted and lightly sucked Seven's upper lip then released it. The tip of her tongue reached out and wet Seven's lips. Seven relaxed her jaw and parted her lips to allow Kathryn's tongue to push past her teeth. 

Their tongues met and the tingle turned into a rush of heat that settled right below her abdominal implant. She felt Kathryn's warm body against hers, felt her breasts against hers. She reached out automatically to grip Kathryn's waist, pulling her closer. Feeling Kathryn's pelvis against hers stirred something inside Seven. When Kathryn withdrew abruptly Seven let out an odd sound. It was an unconscious sound and she wasn't even sure she'd made it. She felt dizzy, but when Kathryn started to pull away Seven kept a firm grip on her waist. 

“I shouldn't have done that,” Kathryn murmured, letting her hand fall from Seven's face. 

“Yes,” Seven said, tightening her grip. “You should.”

She lowered her head to kiss Kathryn and when she felt the smaller woman responding, her hands began to move of their own accord. Her hands traveled from her gluteus medius to her gluteus maximus. She squeezed lightly, enjoying the feel of the firm muscles...but not as much as she enjoyed the captain's tongue moving against hers. The heat, the sweet, synthehol taste of her mouth.

Seven was overcome with the urge to pick the smaller woman up, to press her back against a wall so she could better explore her body. But this planetarium was not conducive to that activity. As meticulously as she had designed this program, she had not planned for this contingency. 

Regretfully, she lightened the kiss. She kissed Kathryn's lips gently, twice, then her nose, then her forehead. She gazed down at Kathryn, saw the lust in her gray eyes, and she felt inordinately pleased with herself. 

_I was right_ , she thought, smiling. 

“Seven,” Kathryn croaked, then swallowed audibly. “This isn't another science experiment...is it?”

Seven quirked her ocular implant, thinking the answer should be obvious. 

“No, Kathryn. You were the reason for the experiment. I thought, if I had more experience with relationships, with romance that you might...” Seven felt her cheeks flush faintly. “Do you recognize these stars, Kathryn?”

She knew it was unlikely she would, as the captain did not possess an eidetic memory. 

“No,” Kathryn admitted. “They're Delta Quadrant stars?”

“Yes. From Region 15, grid 0-0-5,” she said and seeing Kathryn's uncertain look she continued. “It is the region of space Voyager passed through on Stardate 51969.”

“And what is the significance of that date?” Kathryn asked, tilting her head as she looked up at Seven. 

“It is the date that I began exhibiting the symptoms...of being in love with you,” Seven informed her softly. 

“Love?” Kathryn said, her voice barely audible. “...How can you be sure? You're so young, so...”

“I am certain, Kathryn. At first I thought it was a 'crush' but research indicates that the symptoms of a crush diminish after four months.”

“Stardate 51969...that was almost two years ago.”

“Yes, I am aware.”

Kathryn gazed up at her but didn't speak. 

“Shall I list the symptoms for you, Kathryn?” Seven asked, tilting her head. 

“Why don't you use your actions instead of your words?” she asked throatily. 

“Kathryn?”

“Kiss me again, please.”

Seven smiled broadly. 

“I will comply.”

 

 

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you all thought!  
> I'm already in the process of planning another fic.


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